“What a terrific downpour we had last night. It was quite amazing, wasn't it?”
“It certainly was. The wind knocked down a couple of trees, and we didn't have power all night.”
“Really? We were very lucky, then. We didn't have power for half an hour.”
“But that must have been enough to send your sister into a postmodem depression.”
“Postmodem depression! What kind of depression is that?”
“The kind of depression that some people go into when they realise they are unable to access the internet.”
“My cousin Mohan went into a postmodem depression when he was visiting us. He wanted to update his Facebook account, and he just couldn't log in. He was so depressed, he didn't talk to us for a couple of hours.”
“When my colleague went to the village to see his parents, he went into a postmodem depression.”
“Mohan cheered up only after he got a message on his cell phone from his friend.”
“It must have given him textual satisfaction.”
“Textual satisfaction? What are you talking about?”
“What is it that most people do nowadays when they come out of a meeting or class?”
“I can tell you what I do. Usually, I take out my cell phone and check if I have any messages or missed calls.”
“And when you find that you do, how do you feel?
“I feel absolutely thrilled. I'm happy to know that someone was thinking of me while I was in class.”
“That's what textual satisfaction is. It's the satisfaction you get when you realise that you have a missed call or a new message.”
“How about this example? I had textual satisfaction on my birthday. My friends were sending me messages all day long.”
“Textual satisfaction is something that people of my generation don't understand, I'm afraid. Did you get many presents on your birthday?”
“I certainly did. Some of the gifts were extremely difficult to open. It drove me crazy.”
“The anger that you sometimes feel trying to unwrap something is called ‘wrap rage'.”
“I see. That's a nice term. The video game that my parents had bought was so tightly packed that it took me nearly twenty minutes to open it. That was the first time I ever experienced wrap rage.”
“I understand wrap rage is quite common in the U.S. and Britain during Christmas.”
“That's not at all surprising. I'm sure...”
“Whenever I buy something for my grandparents, I always repack it so that it's easy to open. I certainly don't want them to experience wrap rage.”
“I wish some of my friends had done the same. By the way, did you send me a gift?”
“Wishful thinking. But I did call, remember?”
“That's right! But it's cheaper to send a message.”
“True, but it takes me too long. I'm textually challenged.”
“Textually challenged? Does it mean you find it difficult to text?”
“Yes, it does. Someone who is textually challenged finds it difficult to send messages on his cell. He makes the receiver wait because it takes him a long time to type out a simple message.”
“I guess that's the reason my grandfather never responds to my messages. He's textually challenged.”
“That may be true.”
* * *
“In examinations, those who do not wish to know ask questions of those who cannot tell.” — Walter Raleigh
